Yea seriously, that bitch needs to go. Ok, so you drove slightly under the influence, which I guess isn't that terrible (but mom, I swear I never have....!) and you drove with a suspended license, and I suppose it's not murder or anything. However, if your defense is that you didn't KNOW it's wrong, then your cunty self deserves to be behind bars. There are two explanations to my harsh, yet accurate "cunty self" comment. Here's the logic: Let's just assume that Paris is lying (because, well no one can possibly be that retarded). Don't lie about this! Period. End of story. You should suffer the same consequences as everyone else in this world. Just because you can wipe the shit off of your ass with $100 bills, doesn't mean you should get away with breaking the law.
But what's the other option, you ask? Well, maybe Paris really is THAT stupid. Well... then she deserves to go to jail for being such a stupid idiot. Seriously, a lack of deductive reasoning and common sense to the effect of possibly killing an innocent person is enough for me to say, "hmmm.... suspending her license didn't teach her any better. Maybe sometime in a high end penitentiary with private potties and separate cells so you don't have to be a rug muncher just to stay alive SHOULD teach her to use her brain a tad."
And just to add to my "stupid or not-stupid-just-a-lying-bitch" theory, apparently (and if I was a good faux journalist I would do the proper research, but if I do and the alleged story is wrong, I risk having less reason to dislike Paris for things she has done that have in no way at all affected me personally) she put a link on her myspace page asking her legions of blonde, non-panty wearing, white girl dancing, bimbo friends to sign a petition some 'friend' (if by friend we mean a homo who would do anything to be recognized by Paris Hilton) started, pleading that she not be sent to jail.
However, in Miss P.'s defense, I will once again bring to light that if O.J. Simpson can get away with murder, anyone should be able to get away with anything.
Whatevs. No one really likes Paris anyway. We've all been looking for a way to get Paris out of our lives anyway. And really, not reading Perez or US Weekly, just to avoid her is just far too much work.
p.s. is it just me or is my writing awfully angry today? dammmmn, girl.
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